I Let Out My Wild Man...

I feel like I’m a boat in the ocean.

My boat is getting knocked around by waves crashing over me.

There are many more days of the open ocean ahead of me.

But I am off and going.

It’s been almost a month since I officially started Renaissance and sharing on social media.

Mind you, I have 30 followers on instagram.

It’s these moments that excite me because of the knowing I have of how this story turns out.

It ends with me being a more free, powerful, and loving human.

AND each time I embark on my next adventure I find myself being reminded to share in the incredible feelings of discomfort and unease that come from expansion and the truth and freedom that comes from going after something I love. Amen.

In the last year, I’ve been more attuned to this part of me inside. It’s been banging on the cage bars wanting to be let out.

I kept it locked in everytime I wanted to share on social media but was too afraid to or I wanted to start coach but said I wasn’t ready.

Or when I wouldn’t allow myself to see the power in me of what I could see in others. Seeing my power scared the shit out of me and so I never bothered to even find the key to the cage.

But I knew there was this being inside of me that was ready to go.

So…I let it out.

The wild man.

My move to Argentina was the moment I took the key and unlocked the cage.

In that moment, I also said to my wild man that was banging on the bars that I was no longer afraid of him and that I could hold my own with him.

Since then, I started Renaissance and began sharing more on social media.

The funny thing is ever so often, I see the wild man try and go back in his cage.

It’s beautiful to go after things and it is also scary.

The wild man has feelings too ;)

It’s like seeing the big guy in the gym tell you he’s also got stuff going on.

The wild man and I have been humbled posting on social media and building a business.

When I started posting I believed that if I spoke my truth, the world would respond in kind with followers and engagement.

I would be famous in a matter of days I secretly thought.

But when the opposite happened, I had to reevaluate :)

I can now laugh about it and see where it was coming from. The desire to belong and have my truth be accepted.

It was another layer I was able to work through on my journey of speaking my truth.

AND I continue to show up.

Why?

Because I’m on a mission.

To be the most free, powerful and loving human being I can be.

And to build Renaissance; helping people remember who they are and why they came on this earth.

And that mission tilts the scales in favor of creation rather away from fear.

When I made the decision to go to Argentina and play professional soccer, I wanted to hold onto my job because of the financial cushion it would give me. I wasn’t fully ready to make that leap.

The leap of trusting in myself.

Knowing that I would be the reason I’d get a paycheck or I didn’t.

But I knew I was ready.

When I was 11, my family lived in Guatemala. I was constantly surrounded by my friends’ dad’s who were all entrepreneurs. There was something about the freedom and impact on the world they had that I was drawn to.

But I couldn’t have told you that fact until today.

Why today? Because I trust more in my knowing than ever.

I can see how I’ve known all along.

I find that I’ve made decisions in three ways:

Thinking. Feeling. Knowing.

Knowing has only come when I have connected with my thinking and feeling.

All three are magical parts but only having the ability to access one or two of them leaves us without a full body experience of life.

I have been tuning into more of my knowing these past few months.

I believe we’ve had knowings since the day we are born. Our being knows.

For me, it’s the knowing that entrepreneurship resonated with me a decade ago.

But I hadn’t learned to trust and act on that knowing until recently.

One trick I’ve used to uncover my knowing is to say: “I don’t know, but deep down I know…”

Try it out whenever you aren’t so sure about something.

Continue to get quiet and listen to yourself. That is where you will learn your thoughts, feelings and knowings.

I don’t know, but deep down I know that I am grateful for all of you that have followed me from the start of my writing or just recently started tuning in.

I don’t know where this journey will take me, but deep down I know this is going to be a story worth telling and this is where I will be sharing it.

…and maybe you just need to dance in nature.

With all of my love!

Ben

I am inviting any and all feedback of what pieces or parts have made you feel the most connected to my writing. Thank you!