Hello wonderful humans,
Today, the Brummell kids were passing the time playing Scrabble as a snowstorm blazed outside.
Is "fogles" a word?
I'd been racking my brain for all the letters that could complete "ogles" with what I had left.
"No, 'fogles' is not a word," my brother annoyingly responded.
There was something different about this game for me.
The difference: I was openly talking smack. Stirring the pot. Not backing down from heating up the three-point spread between my sister and me. I was having a blast (and I'd say others were too, but you'll have to ask them).
Earlier versions of me wouldn't even enter into the heat of competition.
This game was different and I was loving it. A small and direct expression of the work I've been doing on connecting to my power, passion, and aliveness.
Two nights earlier, I was out at dinner and someone said, "That person intimidates me."
I responded that being intimidated by someone or something is just our unwillingness to see the power already inside of us and meet their power.
I'd had a constant cycle of looking to others—mentors, entrepreneurs, famous people—to teach me things that I didn't have and they did.
They had an ability to create millions of dollars, a successful business, an incredible partner, a wonderful life, etc. I was choosing not to step into the power that I could do all of that.
Two weeks before I was going to graduate at Michigan, I was still looking for a job.
Monday morning, I checked my email and got a response from Jimmy DeCicco. He was a mentor of mine and I'd spent the past week crafting an email proposing how I could help him.
He responded and asked to hop on the phone. In my mind, this guy was the man and had success I didn't.
As we hopped on the phone, I was intimidated. I was talking to a guy who I felt was more powerful than me.
On the call, he offered me a role to build a new business with him and Lewis Howes (another mentor of mine). I was anxious beyond belief, unable to speak. I froze. Yes, from excitement, but also from thinking this guy was better than me. I was intimidated.
I wasn't willing to look inward and see the immense power I had inside of me that knew I was just as powerful as these guys. To know I was capable of creating everything I wanted.
I stayed intimidated for the next few months. I stayed in an employee role and never moved into a partner role. I had given my power to them.
I've been home for the holidays and have challenged myself to not give my power to the outside world by blaming people or things for how I feel.
Last week, I was in the living room and the TV was on. I began watching and an hour later I woke up from my trance. I got mad at myself.
Why was I so mad that I watched TV?
I’d made watching TV mean I was weak. Crazy to think about some of the beliefs that run the show.
I was giving my power to the TV by saying IT made me feel this way. Crazy, right!
How often do we give power to the outside world when deciding what we'll do and how we feel? We say "if that person wasn't so mean" or "if I didn't watch TV" or "if I had more time then I would…"
Three days later, I did take two.
My brother put on The Wolf of Wall Street. I walked in and knowingly chose to sit down and enjoy.
An hour in, the main character Jordan (Leonardo DiCaprio) meets Naomi (Margot Robbie).
"That's great for him but I'd never be with someone like that," my mind retorted.
Wait. Why could I never be with someone like that?
I believed if I wanted to be with someone who had done their inner work they couldn’t be super attractive.
I'd created an either/or.
Gorgeous or good human. Choose.
There is always a third option.
But I realized I didn't think I was deserving of being with someone who had both.
I felt intimidated. I saw the parts of me that said I wasn't deserving or capable.
Immediately, I flipped my script. I matched the power of this woman.
I was looking deeper inside my power than I had ever looked.
I was reminded of Coach Carter and Timo Cruz. "Sir, what is your deepest fear?"
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
I felt I had a whole new acceptance of what I was deserving of, but more importantly how capable I am in this life.
I had been running a limiting script. A script that was keeping me where I wouldn't have to address my enoughness or worthiness.
Isn't that so true for life? Believing we're capable of being in that job, having that relationship, having that body.
But to change those beliefs would require you to see the immense power that already resides deep inside of you.
I'm using my power to create everything I want in my life.
I just hired my life coach for a whole year, not a small chunk of change. I decided to move to Florence, Italy this January, stay tuned. I know my capacity to make millions of dollars. I am capable of being with an incredible partner.
And I am all in on my life coaching, helping men get their power back and guiding them through the fire I've been through.
This is me stepping into my power. It's requiring me to drop my stories and my limitations.
We are powerful beyond belief.
I am the one that chooses if I watch TV or not. :)
Where in your life could you step into your power and own what you want because you know you can create it?
All my love,
Ben
P.S. If you're ready to step into your power and create the life you know you're capable of, let's talk.
