#10 The Fellowship: When's Your Next Race?

Hi marvelous humans!

Welcome back to another edition of The Fellowship!

Someone asked me what my word for the year is. Divine.

As I write this, a woman is singing in the background, "live in reciprocity and you will rest in prosperity." I would agree.

New here? I'm Ben! I've followed my curiosity across four continents: competing in ultra-endurance sports, working with entrepreneurs, exploring my inner world, and learning about why we do what we do.

👉 Learn more here

Missed past editions? I recommend checking out Fun and Joy, Cornbread Hugs, Math, and Natural Light!

Let’s get into it!

"What would you do in a post-scarcity world?" the dinner host asked.

Six of us sat around the table, most having met just half an hour earlier. Two people answered. They shared their thoughts about exciting pursuits, abundant living, and meaningful relationships. They portrayed a world quite different from the one we’re living in now.

I found myself reflecting on a question from my men's group two nights before: "What if the heaven and afterlife we seek is actually available to us now?"

Then I spoke up with a question of my own:

Who are the people already living in a post-scarcity world, right NOW?

Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, and many spiritual leaders immediately came to mind. These individuals lived as if abundance was already present. They served others through their presence and actions in a loving, generous world.

Wayne Dyer once described an extraordinary moment at a radio station where Mother Teresa was being interviewed. The entire studio became less hurried and the atmosphere changed to one of kindness. People commented on a "wave of unconditional love" washing over them. Her presence alone radiated such love and energy that it filled the entire station.

These people didn't live for external validation. Yet they created monumental impact on the world. How’d they do it?

Have you ever been told "you are already worthy?”

What I'm coming to understand is that:

From the moment we came to earth, we were already loved, already belonged, already connected. Yet, we spend our lives seeking these very things from external sources.

We search outside for what already exists within us.

The challenge begins early: if our parents and society weren’t taught themselves to recognize their own inherent worthiness, it can be difficult to guide us to ours. Instead of learning that we are fundamentally loved, we're taught that achievement, money, and success are the pathways to love and connection.

But what happens when we realize we don't need the job, the money, or the success to be loved?

Living begins.

Suddenly, all that time and energy spent chasing external validation opens up for something more meaningful and aligned with us.

I asked myself: What would my life look like if I stopped chasing validation? Would I have nothing to do?

My answer is in the section below.

What would you do differently if you knew you were already living in a post-scarcity world?

"So, when's your next race?" my friend asked casually.

"What do you mean, when's my next race?" I replied with a nervous laugh.

She responded, "When you finish a race, you always have the next one lined up. So when's your next race?"

Do I really always look for the next race after finishing one?

Her harmless observation hit me like a truck. I thought that by leaving behind the pursuit of impressive job titles and high salaries, I'd escaped the achievement and validation loop.

Apparently not. I had literally found a different race to run.

In my head, I played back my past year of races and the evidence pointed in one direction. After each finish line, within weeks I’d set me eyes on the next one. Always bigger and more audacious than the last.

I loved running and those races enabled me to learn things I'd never learned before, be in some of the best shape of my life, and experience things beyond my wildest imagination.

AND yet…

I was rigid and intense. Beneath the accomplishments and miles there was a bigger story. I was using races as validation. A need to prove to myself and others that if I did hard things, then I was worthy of connection and belonging.

In moments of feeling anxious or unworthy, racing became my shield against the uncomfortable reality that I simply needed to love myself as I was.

That conversation prompted a decision: to check myself at the door whenever I considered signing up for another event.

Am I doing this to prove myself because I'm uncertain about my life's direction and want to escape this feeling? Or is this something I truly feel good about for its own sake, without seeking validation?

Often, the answer was the former.

I continued training and staying healthy, but stopped racing. The amount of times I was asked, "What are you training for?" felt to be in the millions. I’d respond gritting my teeth, "Oh, I'm just training for life," and silently check myself to see if I was in the clear to sign up…not yet.

Then last month, after more than a year of this intentional pause and redefined relationship with racing and myself, I crossed the finish line of the Austin Marathon.

I had done it, but the accomplishment wasn't crossing the finish line. For the first time, I had run a race purely for myself, for joy, and for the challenge itself. There was no seeking validation, no need to prove myself. Woh.

When I first decided to stop racing, I didn't know if I'd ever race again. It felt painful to consider giving up something I loved so deeply, but I decided I couldn't continue the validation chase.

Walking back after the marathon, it hit me: the past year hadn't been about quitting racing, it had been about offering myself a different way of life. Where I could pursue goals in a soul-filling way and I wasn’t controlled by the need for validation.

Since then, the floodgates have opened.

I’ve seen an immediate shift from needing this to be a solo journey, focused on what’s in it for me and attachment to outcomes to desiring to bring people along the journey.

There is an expansive sea of opportunity to channel my love for hard physical challenges into giving back to the world! The urge to prove myself has faded, replaced by an openness for opportunities to create and serve.

I envision races where I do what I love while partnering with organizations serving the world and sharing the journey with others. I'm no longer running alone.

I can see clearly how much more life giving this version of racing is AND it has exponentially increased the impact I am able to have. I'm pursuing something far greater than myself.

What's your next race and why are you running it?

How would you describe your relationship with money?

About two decades ago, I practically uninvited Money to my life's party without even knowing. Money has been sitting outside my door ever since. Now, it's time to treat Money like my other welcome guests.

I realized that by leaving Money at the door, I forfeited the opportunity to build a relationship with it. I've finally decided to get acquainted. Come one in…

I have a few questions:

Money responded: "In your case, Ben whether you like it or not, you were developing a relationship with when you kept me locked outside for two decades. But where you are missing out is that by keeping me outside you haven’t allowed me to show how I could exponentially enrich your life, literally.”

For the month of April, I’m committed weekly to taking Money out to coffee to see what I can learn about them. I’ll report back.

I'm genuinely curious about your experiences:

What's your relationship with money?

How have you developed (or how are you developing) a life-giving relationship with it?

It’s been raining the last few days here in Austin! I love it for two reasons:

#1 I love rain. It’s therapeutic for me.

#2 All the vegetation and plants become so green! Beautiful!

That wraps up another edition of The Fellowship Newsletter! If you enjoyed it and know someone who would appreciate it, feel free to share.

I’m excited about: Eckhart Tolle is speaking tomorrow right here in Austin!

I am exploring: The art of creating boundaries. A complex topic.

My Ask: For April, I'm offering free coaching to five young adults (ages 20-25) who want to transform their relationship with themselves and watch how it changes everything else. It's one-hour a week for five weeks. Know someone who might benefit? They can schedule an intro call here or feel free to reach out if they have any questions!

Peace and Love,

Ben

p.s. What resonated with you in this edition? Hit reply, I read every message and would love to hear your thoughts.