I realized I had no idea what I wanted.
I realized my entire life I had been speaking from my throat. From that place people refer to when they say, "you're in your head."
"Ben, you are in your head too much," is something I was told a lot growing up. But what did they actually mean?
All it really means is this:
The truth of who I was, what I wanted to say, what I wanted to do would pass through a filter in my throat stuffed with the voices of everyone who still holds weight in my life. The shoulds. The rules. The limits on what I’m allowed to say or want. And by the time my truth squeezes through that filter of a million voices, it comes out sideways, backwards, and crooked.
So I would keep the peace. I would avoid blowing anything up. I didn’t say what I wanted because I didn’t want to be “wrong.”
I preferred to avoid conflict rather than speak into the world what I actually wanted.
Three months ago, my coach asked me a question:
When was the last time you were angry or just let it out fully?
My answer: I can’t remember.
Anger was dangerous.
But in suppressing anger, I was suppressing desire, passion and power.
And that fire, that desire is the gift we give to the world. It’s what allows us to say:
This is who I am. This is what I want. This is where I’m going.
It gives direction.
There is almost nowhere in this world that teaches men how to safely access that primal part of themselves. So we keep it locked away and then wonder why we can’t answer the question, “Who are you and what do you want?”
It’s like trying to start a car without the engine.
Impossible.
I can truthfully say: I had never fully stepped into my truth or owned it until Argentina.
I was on that flight to Argentina even though I didn't have the support or approval of all the people I loved. For the first time, my truth mattered more than their comfort.
That’s why this wave of energy has rolled through me since. I now went into the cave of ‘bad’ desire and saw that I was still alive. I still had my limbs and was breathing. I now had faced the dragon of desire.
Desire no longer had me. I now had it.
It’s why I’m more clear on who I am and what I want than I’ve ever been. I’m free to pursue desire without needing to get it “right” only to experience the expansion and growth that comes from going after what’s true for me.
My channel of truth opened, and it’s only just beginning.
A question rose: What would I say and do when that filter is wide open?
Where my truth rises up from my root, unaltered and moves straight into the world through the words I speak and the actions I take?
Answer: I would share a lot more of my truth.
And over the past few months, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. It’s been a process of getting my balls back. Living by my truth.
It’s changed everything.
Suddenly I say what I want.
I act the way I want.
I connect with what I really want to express, and then I feel it fight its way through my throat to come out as pure as possible.
It’s still a process but the biggest learning has been this:
When I speak my raw truth into the world, I feel how much power it carries.
I watch how the world shifts around it.
I see how deeply it impacts others.
To be honest, I was hesitant.
I didn’t like the feeling of having that much power and being so clear about what I want that my world starts rearranging accordingly.
Because it means one thing:
My life is now completely accountable to me.
No more validation from doing what others want or what I’m “supposed” to do.
I’ve entered my Renaissance Era and began speaking my truth into the world.
And this shift is exactly what allowed me to begin my Renaissance coaching to help men get their balls back and start living by their own truth.
Renaissance means rebirth. A revival.
A re-becoming of who you truly are.
Look at the original Italian Renaissance. One of the most creative, innovative eras in history. Michelangelo. Leonardo da Vinci.
Men who believed humanity was capable of everything and lived like it.
But it wasn’t just about mastering art, science, or philosophy.
It was the moment men stopped doing what they were told…and started doing what was true.
The floodgates opened. Their purpose rushed through. And the world was changed by men who finally let themselves be who they were.
A new Renaissance is coming and people can feel it.
People are starting to break free from living in their heads and dropping into their bodies, where truth rises from the core and enters the world unfiltered.
It’s time for you to step into your Renaissance Era and speak your truth.
All my love,
Double B
P.S. Your Renaissance Era starts with one question: What truth have you been filtering that wants to come out raw and pure? Start there. Speak it out.
📺 My YouTube → Documenting my renaissance in real-time | Watch here
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